So you've broken your leg, and your doctor is fresh out of wheelchairs. That's okay! This pamphlet will teach you the basics of... PROPER CRUTCH USAGE Proper adjustment is crucial. Your crutches should stand an inch or two shorter than your armpits. To adjust, take a flat head screwdriver and turn that thing. When playing your crutch like it's a guitar, make large windmill motions so everyone gets it. When using as chopsticks, hold one crutch like a pencil and let your index finger act as a fulcrum. Children 3-years or younger may choke on the crutch. You're 3 and you've already managed to break your leg? If you are a crutch we can provide you with human legs during your rehabilitation.