Subway: A Method to Their Cheesy Madness

A while back I made a cartoon about Subway’s goofy way of arranging cheese on their sandwiches, and I learned something after posting it up on the site: people are very passionate about cheese. I’ve gotten more commentary on that comic than any other so far.

I recently got an email from a guy named Stu, who said this:

I love your subway cartoon, I work at subway and printed your toon. The staff found it funny, my boss did not!!!

Next day a notice was put up about cheese! And I took a photo to send to you.

Here’s the photo he attached:

simple brilliance

It seems there’s some devious reasoning behind Subway’s practices! They choose to offend geometric decency to make their customers pay more to fill in the missing puzzle pieces! That’s evil genius. Stu also gave me this caveat:

Remember that all subway stores are franchised owned so every store will be run in its own way, and this notice is only from my subway.

And he’s right, so we can’t make the same statement about all Subway locations, but this is the best explanation I’ve seen for why cheese placement might be an important part of a business model. Who knew?

Thanks, Stu.


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119 Responses to “Subway: A Method to Their Cheesy Madness”

  1. Steve K. says:

    Yeah, make sure you get that extra cheese.! You can never have enough FAT in your diet!

    Provolone Cheese – 2 half circles – 4g fat

    Pepperjack Cheese – 2 triangles – 4g fat

    Swiss Cheese – 2 triangles – 4.5g fat

  2. […] system). I’d say that I’m there at least three times a week. Today I read this blog post.  It basically shows how we are all being screwed out of our cheese at subway. For those who do not […]

  3. subwars says:

    american cheese aka (washed turd cheese) – extended shelf-life, resistance to separation when cooked, and the ability to reuse scraps, trimmings and runoff from other cheesemaking processes… good for them, bad for you

  4. […] known for years is that Subway is an evil corporation that should be destroyed… and one franchise is up to no good. Not all franchises would do this but I would imagine that they do much worse things like grind up […]

  5. malenx says:

    I always ask for double cheese. They rarely charge either. When they ask what sandwich I just say Foot Long Chicken Breast.

    Btw… the best sandwich you can ever order from them is as follows…

    1. Foot long Italian herb and cheese bread

    2. Over roasted chicken breast

    3. Double American cheese

    4. A lot of black olives before toasting

    5. Oven toast the bastard

    6. Add tons of southwest sauce

    7. Eat it until you explode in teh pants… cause it's amazing!


  6. subwars says:

    malenx is a subways agent bot. I have deployed a sentinel to anihilate them

  7. Che Guevara says:

    hahahaha x-men !!!! who is your fav. character, mine is nightcrawler!

  8. casey says:

    i have taken the liberty to name my band unnesisary cheese overlap.

    Drewmo, please dont sue me.

    you can check us out at

    we dont have anything recorded yet but things are on the way.

  9. casey says:

    i apogise for the lack of consistancy.

    the name is unnesisary DAIRY overlap.

  10. Jon says:

    I know stu, he goes to sheffield uni, bloody legend for getting this pic.

  11. […] Subway’s penchant for not using their triangle cheese correctly is actually part of a diabolical mind-control plan to get you to pay more. […]

  12. dom says:

    There's a guy at the Subway near me called Mr Ole who tesselated his cheese until he got told to stop. He also used to put little smiley faces in sauce. I miss Mr Ole.

  13. Ariana P. Chwubba says:

    I have an overwhelming urge to run into a crowded elevator in a large high rise office building, wait until we're zooming up and then fart loudly while shouting, "Power to those who CUT THE CHEESE!"

  14. Nelson Rockefeller says:

    I've returned from the dead to claim, George W. Bush is the worst president in US History and a traitor.

    I love you all. Go toward the light, but avoid the red light or the smoke.

  15. Nelson Rockefeller says:

    Cumquats? WTF?


    Honi soit qui mal y pense.

    Dieu et mon droit.

    Illegitimati non carborundum.

  16. Karey says:

    Sure maybe its just the franchise manager at individual Subways, but that doesnt explain why they arrange the cheese wrong at every single subway I go to. There's 3 in my immediate area, they all do this, I have ocd and it bugs me every time. Now I finally have an answer to this little mystery of the universe, thank you.

  17. Kin says:

    Simple: Half the thickness of the cheese…!! It's yucky thick anyway.

  18. Cay says:

    Lol, that was so funny. How friggin' sneaky are they though? I mean, that is so calculated and cunning…quite impressive, in a way =) I wonder if i could go in and request for my sub to me made using the cheese arrangement where they actually fit (um, the non-overlapping one, i think)? Oh well, it's still yummy either way

  19. mudkipz says:

    I FUCKING LOVE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!eleven!!!111elf

  20. SKHI says:

    I didn't take the time to read the "Harry Potter Novel" of comments, so I don't know if this has been covered before. So sorry if it was.

    When I worked at Subway, we trained our Noobs that "Subway is the devil. Because you put 6 of everything on a footlong." 6 tomatoes, 6 pickles, 6 olives and so on. What ever they asked for, we were trained to only ever put no more than 6. And trust me, it sucks to eat a sandwich with only 6 olives on there. We did, however, put our cheese on in an "tessellating" manner because they just fit better. Though I am sure if our owner had seen that, she would have most likely said the same thing that Stu's manager (Owner?) said and have put an end to the cheese wars.

    Any how… just wanted to add my two cents.

  21. SKHI says:

    P.S. The owner of our store was a cheap A$$ B!tch. She once yelled at a guy who worked there because he was filling the sink with water to wash dishes, stepped away to do another task while the water ran, and was not standing beside the sink to make sure he didn't fill it over her designated fill line. She threatened to cut his pay to pay for the extra water he "wasted" on doing dishes.

  22. person says:

    "promote the need for customers to desire"

  23. tom says:

    unoriginal, sorry.

  24. Weer says:

    I have been food poisoned at a subway restaurant and to top it off now my credit card was hacked! Has anyone else heard of subway stealing credit cards? I just got a new credit card and never used it at any other shop except subway and now I am getting bills for all kinds of stuff!

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  30. Noxxxo. says:

    omg i like cheese and now with this article i want to eat xD

  31. […] Apparently, when a Subway employee posted a printed copy in the establishment he worked at, his “boss” took it seriously, responding with a “cheese” directive and putting up his own notice. Source: […]

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