man: crap! someone stole my wallet!
man: how am i supposed to exist without money?! and my license! credit cards! everything!
man: my cell phone and keys are gone too! someone just stole my entire life! my identity!
man: well, only one thing to do
man: murder someone and steal their identity
man: hmm, he looks enough like me and i'm pretty sure i can take him
man: alright, here we go
man: oh, heh. i keep all that stuff in my other pocket now
man: sir, you have no idea how close i was to murdering you just now!
man: this close
*motions a distance with his hands*
distance between left and right pants pockets
phew!
